


Holy

by BarnesnMrNoble



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gen, Happy Ending, Little bit of angst, M/M, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-24 03:51:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17697125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarnesnMrNoble/pseuds/BarnesnMrNoble
Summary: Everyday couldn’t be a good day. No matter how hard he tried, there would always be a day were he felt broken and useless. Where the darkness would cloud his mind so much that he couldn’t breakthrough it all to see his sunshine, to see you.





	Holy

**Author's Note:**

> This was meant to be fluffy and cute but it ended up a bit more angsty than I intended. I’m really proud of this one. If you enjoy it, please leave a like and comment or a reblog! I’d love to hear your thoughts and honestly I need the validation. 
> 
> Based of H.O.L.Y. by Florida Georgia Line

When the sun had left and the winter came  
And the sky fall could only bring the rain  
I sat in darkness, all broken hearted  
I couldn't find a day I didn't feel alone

Everyday couldn’t be a good day. No matter how hard he tried, there would always be a day were he felt broken and useless. Where the darkness would cloud his mind so much that he couldn’t breakthrough it all to see his sunshine, to see you. 

Today was one of those days. The pressures of the world started to weigh so heavily on him, he couldn’t move from them. He felt so alone like he had to tackle the world by himself, like he had no one to help shoulder the weight. It was so much for him to bear that he would forget he had you to help shoulder the weight because he only felt the loneliness. 

You’d found him in the lab in the middle of the night, hunched over his new project trying to distract his mind. Not that it was working. His hand reached out and grabbed the day old coffee he’d left, not that he noticed the stale, bitter taste or the coldness of it.

His hands shook furiously as he tinkered with the wires of and older mark suit. He yelled out when the wire moved differently then he intended, sending sparks flying through the air. Then the part of the suit he been working on did the same, flying across the room to crash into the wall with a loud clang. The sound made him flinch and bury his head into his hands. 

I never meant to cry, started losing hope  
But somehow baby, you broke through and saved me  
You're an angel, tell me you're never leaving

You placed a hand on the small of his back, schooling the hurt on your face when he flinched away from your touch. You knew it wasn’t about you, you knew it was the thoughts than pounded against his skull. They were telling him he wasn’t worth it, he didn’t deserve the touch, that he had to stay in the darkness because he wasn’t worth the sun. 

Still, you kept your hand in place until he could pull himself out of the thoughts in his head. You’d learned early on that you couldn’t do the work for him, you could be his support but he had to pull himself out. It wasn’t easy to stand by and watch but you knew it’s what needed to happen. 

The minutes ticked by ever so slowly, waiting for him to conquer his aggressive thoughts and come back to you but when the coldness of his fingers wrapped around your free hand you knew he had come back to you. Like a switch had been flipped, he now longed for your touch. He pulled you into himself and buried his face into your chest. His hand that gripped onto your own never left, only moving it to his chest. You ran your fingers through his hair, scratching the base of his neck and repeated the action for several minutes. 

'Cause you're the first thing I know I can believe in

The two of you were in the kitchen now. You knew it’d been a while since he last ate, he always forgot about food when he felt like this. If he didn’t deserve you, or anything else why would he deserve to eat. Beyond that, it would mean he wouldn’t be doing enough to distract his mind and he couldn’t afford that. The thoughts were already too intrusive when he was distracted. 

He was starting to come back to himself. Your light starting to shine through what he thought was impenetrable darkness. He hadn’t let go of your hand, still holding onto you as if you were just a figment of his imagination, a mirage created by his mind to trick him, to taunt him. It wasn’t enough, he needed more. He needed the feel of your skin connecting with his, the spark he felt every time. Every time he touched your smooth skin, or brushed his lips against your perfect ones. 

You made the brightest days from the darkest nights  
You're the river bank where I was baptized  
Cleanse all the demons  
That were killing my freedom

You could see it in his eyes that he needed just a little more. He never was good at hiding his emotions, they showed clear as day in his beautiful brown eyes. They looked like chocolate to you, conveying the sweet and soft demeanor only few knew from him. He always laughed when you told him that, he didn’t really like you thinking he was soft. But you couldn’t help it, you had him wrapped around your finger, he would do anything for you. To see your eyes light up like the fireworks on a fourth of July night, or your smile beam at him like he was looking directly into the sun on a spring day. 

Maybe he was soft.

He heard your sweet, melodic voice ring out into the air. He didn’t catch what you said, his mind still beating on him but it was less now. He only felt the dull reminder of the words and his head didn’t hurt as bad as it did earlier. He felt your soft fingers trail over his skin. Over his shoulders and down his back, the soft fabric of his shirt hindering your fingers from touching his skin. All he wanted to do was rip of the shirt so your skin could touch his. 

I don't need the stars 'cause you shine for me  
Like fire in my veins, you're my ecstasy  
You're my ecstasy

Your arms snaked underneath his, your fingers never left his skin. He could feel the heat from the trail of fire your fingers left on his skin. It was heavenly. He loved it, he loved you. He sighed deeply and let his head fall down onto your shoulder and tucked his nose into the crook of your neck. You smelled nice, like evening spent by the fire in a cabin by the woods. He loved it, it smelled like you and you were home to him. 

You placed soft kisses to the exposed skin you could reach. Each one accompanied by a loving sigh from him, the hot breath fanning over your skin. This was more him, and even better it was softest version of him. Music began to flow through the speakers, soft beats leading you to sway with him in your arms. It was his favorite song. The one that had been playing over the speakers at the restaurant he’d rented out on your first date. It was the song he sang to you on the rare nights you couldn’t sleep or on the days were you just wanted to break down. 

You're holy, holy, holy, holy  
I'm high on loving you, high on loving you  
You're holy, holy, holy, holy  
I'm high on loving you, high on loving you

It was the way he’d adopted saying I love you. “I’m high on loving you.” He’d say, a goofy grin on his lips before he kissed you. 

You held him, supporting him as you swayed. He loved that you did that, both figuratively and literally. You held him up in the darkest of times, showed him that even when it was dark and it seemed never ending you would always be there to show him that there was a light, he just had to come back to it. 

The ache in his head had subsided. Now he could hear the soft beats of the music and your soft humming. He smiled against your skin before he kissed it. Of course you played this song. It was your song, the song you listened to when he was away, when you wanted to hear him sing. He detached his fingers from yours and slid them up your arms. The callouses that lined his fingers and palms left tingles on your skin and you savored the feeling. 

He trailed kisses up your neck, drinking in the sighs from each one. He kissed along your jawline and up to your lips, where you were still smiling. He loved that smile. He never told you about how he’d kept a picture of you smiling, just like you were now, in his suit. He kept one everywhere, in his wallet, on the background of his phone, on every surface he could put a picture frame. Because if he could see you and be with you, even if it wasn’t physically, he was the luckiest man alive. 

His forehead rested against your own, his hands lazily gripping your neck. His thumbs stroked along your jaw where he’d been trailing kisses. You leaned into his touch, happy to have your Tony back. He smiled at you, the first one you’d been able to see all night. It sent your heart soaring to see, your Tony, your big, soft teddy bear was in your arms dancing away in the kitchen. His gruff voice sounded out over the music singing the words as if he had wrote them himself, just for you. 

You're the healing hands where it used to hurt  
You're my saving grace, you're my kind of church  
You're holy


End file.
